merry christmas.

no words, just pictures…

lies of christmas

This year Santa will not come to our house... Zoeti was so scared when we saw him that she almost cries when we say "in a couple of days Santa will come with your presents!" . But of course she wants the presents.. So we told her a little lie: Santa is too busy and a little elf will help him and bring the presents to our house! She felt relieved!
This year zoeti is two and a half so still little to believe to everything at the same time big enough to ask us why, under the tree, there are presents for her friends and relatives... She will ask why they are not to their houses and I've already thought about the answer (I feel smart these days!): Santa (and the elves) are very old and very busy so sometimes they misplaced the presents! And that's why grandma has a present for you and we have a present for our friends’ children!
As I've already mentioned I want that zoeti gives to unlucky children a couple of toys that she doesn't play anymore with in order to understand how lucky she is and that could bring us to another question: why Santa doesn't bring toys to every child in the world? I think I still have some more years before this question but I'm already thinking about it. I have found a couple of answers:there are children that can't write the letter to Santa so we will help him to have extra toys for them.
What about you? How do you manage all the Christmas lies?

I really NEED you!

source

It's a long time that I'm thinking about my blog name... Actually I've started thinking about my blogging experience, how much I can invest on it, what it means to me... Thinking about the name was just a consequence..
Even if being a mom is something that keep changing and I'm always learning, I'm not a new mom anymore.. And, let's face it, "my brand new life as mom" is a very long name! When I started blogging I wasn't sure what to expect, how it would last, what I would write about... Choosing the name was not a deliberate choice... Plus, do you know how many blogs there are on blogspot? A lot! Which means few names available!

For the 2014 I want to change the blog name...
I have several alternatives:

'Life in four' :: I know what you are thinking... "And if you'll have another child?" Well, in that case I'll divorce and we will be four again! I'm kidding! In that case I'll change the name again! A blog, in my opinion, is something that grows with you and the name can reflect that change.

'Bello chisto' :: that's something that zoeti says when she loves something. In Italian it would be "bello questo" (that's nice) but she mispronounces it.

'A trolley mama' :: one of the thing that I love most is traveling! I would love a name that reminds that... Besides, if you see how I get out when I'm alone with my girls..: a diaper bag, a backpack if I have to go to the grocery store, my camera bag if I'm inspired... Every time a move!

Ok, let's hear your voice! Tell me which one you prefer. I have a favorite between them, but I'd love to hear your opinion!

to Santa’s house

last saturday the surprise in our advent calendar said “let’s go to find where santa lives!”. zoeti was super excited!! a city near where we live, montecchio maggiore, recreated a magical town in a cave. it was amazing!! i booked 8 tickets for us and our parents. first time in a cave for me! we wore helmets, no heels allowed and, with an elf as guide, we moved inside until we found santa’s house!
i think that maybe zoeti is still too young for this… she was scared by santa and by the grinch and she was always checking at us. but still the effort on creating the atmosphere has been considerable! well done guys!
sorry for the bad quality, but moving and enjoying the place along with low light is a bad combination for taking pictures!

:: the real santa’s house ::

:: gnomes and elves at work ::

:: the grinch! ::

:: with santa! zoeti was scared and alma loved playing with santa’s beard! ::

Vegan, vegetarian or...

 
Lately I'm thinking about our way to eat. I live in a place where dairy and meat are very diffuse. Among my friends there are just two vegetarians, no one single vegan, but many around me experiencing a situation of doubt and indecision. I want to be honest: I think it's impossible for me to become vegan... I love milk, cheese, eggs... But avoiding meat is something I really want to try! I already mentioned the book I'm reading – the china study (between one about child care and one about montessori's activities!). Yesterday I was at a meeting about homeopathy and a woman said that changing her eating habits changed her life. She suffered of rheumatoid arthritis and switching to a vegan diet made her feeling better without medicines. I don't know if it was because I know closely that disease or because she read that book too, but I keep thinking about it...
One of my resolution for these last two months was cooking more vegetarian dishes and I'm really understanding how hard is for me avoid meat, especially ready-sliced salami. And even harder is cooking legumes and cereals that I didn't even know that existed! Luckily as I've said, I'm not alone and I'm always asking recipes to my friends.
It's time for thinking about a lot of things in my life: what kind of mommy I want to be  how to raise my child, how eat better, if vaccinating or not, if it's time for homeopathy for my little girl with bronchospasm... Even if it's hard I think it's a good thing questioning from time to time: it gives you the chance to learn from others and from your errors!
That's some of my favorite vegetarian/vegan blogs:
Ohdeardrea: not need to say anything about this blog! She writes about her life and her cooking.
Una vegetariana in cucina: (in Italian) a new discovered and I love it!
La frittata è fatta: a new new entry, but I've already seen a couple of recipes I really want to try!
I love browsing about food blogs... Some of them have very beautiful pictures ... The best are:
Cannelle et Vanille
What Katie Ate
il cavoletto di bruxelles
anemone's corner

a family tradition

since when zoeti was born i felt the urge to create new family traditions. decorate the christmas tree and bake cinnamon biscuits on the 8th of december (national holiday here in italy) are two of them. we listened traditional christmas songs, had fun decorating the house, played with alma and filled with cinnamon scent the whole house…

:: i love these two! ::

:: white, silver and all the pieces we bought around the world ::

:: this year we created four new decorations with our names! now we can say “it’s our tree!” ::

      

Morning routine with two kids

Waking up and have a toddler and a newborn to deal with in no time can be a little... scary!
Alma has nearly four months and I have created my own routine and I have few tips to share with you!

First. Play in advance.  I try to prepare (or at least think about) what the girls are going to wear the day after. And prepare the diaper bag! I forget always something so i can't imagine what could happen running with a baby in my arms and a screaming toddler to grab some diapers and a dress. I bet I'd have diapers just for one daughter or three pair of pants and no shirt!

Second. Work with the kids.  if you can’t beat them, join them. When I tell somebody about my hectic mornings, the answer is always "why don't you wake up before them?" Yes, it would be easy, if only they wake up around the same time!! Zoeti loves surprising me by waking up one morning around seven and the morning after around eight. So if I really want to wake up before her I need to wake up at six... But that's the time when I breastfeed alma!
So the plan is: let's do everything all together! I have breakfast with Zoeti while breastfeeding Alma. Then we move to the bathroom all together: I change Alma's diaper while Zoeti washes her hands and face, we brush our teeth together and then Alma watch us while I dress Zoeti. The truth is that moving all together is hard (I sit Alma on a little chair which is quite heavy to move) but if I leave someone in the other room she will cry in 5 sec! So I prefer this way: when it's breakfast time everyone eats and when we get out the bathroom everyone is clean and dressed.

Third: Keep calm and ... Smile!  My friends know that I'm not that type of person that face the unexpected easily... I'm a Virgo after all and organization is my second name... But when you have kids you change! A lot! So if we are ready to get out, I've already put the coat on Alma (and she's already crying), Zoeti has the shoes on and I'm ready to close the door, well that's the moment when somebody tell me "I have to pee"... The first times I was... like "what? Are you kidding?!" But now my reaction is "ok... Let me undress Alma, take off your and my shoes, and your clothes, and close the door, and we'll go to the toilet" ! very zen! Ok, my reaction is not ALWAYS this one... But if I start yelling the result is a screaming baby and a crying - screaming - stubborn toddler: a disaster!

Fourth: let somebody - whosoever! - helps you!   Really, everybody! A couple of weeks ago I was to the playground and Zoeti asked me to go to the swing. I couldn't because I had Alma crying on my arms, so a daddy helped me and pushed her! There are very good people out there so let them help you!

Fifth: eat chocolate!   Ok...maybe this one works only for me but when I'm exhausted and the girls are screaming, I eat some chocolate and everything starts to get better!

MOM’S THOUGHTS - And then came the jealousy

We tried to do everything we could to facilitate the change in a big sister for Zoeti and the first couple of months it worked. We read books about being a big sister, created a photo album with pictures of Zoeti when she was newborn, let her touch and hold the baby since the very beginning...
But then came the jealousy.
Nothing unexpected... And nothing unmanageable. She started pointing out what she, mammy and daddy have in common (I have teeth, mammy has teeth, daddy has teeth. Alma no) or what she can eat (no Alma cookies). There were tantrums (we're also in the 'terrible twos' ) and small regressions (I can't wear my shoes by myself).
As I have said nothing unmanageable. But her eyes... She is suffering and I can see that. I'm looking for answers, asking to everybody in my situation what to do. I made a big mistake thinking that her beloved daddy could take my place. Yes, she loves daddy and she's always looking for him, but I'm her mommy and she needs me.  Yesterday I asked my mom to go for a walk with Alma and I did the same alone with Zoeti. It was incredible! We laughed and watched some rabbits in an animal shop. I started singing a song and discovered that she already knows that.
She's an amazing, sensible little girl and I really need to spend more time alone with her, not only for her but for me too!
I'm reading this book about the relationship between brothers and sisters and I've found some good advices. Nothing clamorous but for an only child like me, everything can be useful!
:: verbalize what your child is trying to tell you. Sometimes a two years old can't say what's the matter. Help him to give a name to situations or feelings can help him.
:: respect his feelings, without trivialize or minimize them.
:: let him cry! It's a way to vent his feelings.
:: show him empathy saying " I know that you are sad/angry/ disappointed"
:: try to explain him with simple worlds why he can't or must do a certain thing.
:: find a compromise. Do not say just 'no'... Try to find another moment or another activity.
:: stay calm. Screaming and get angry make things worst.
:: use the 'positive reinforcement', instead of pointing out when he does something wrong, praise him when he does something good.
As I said, easy but useful tips that I'm trying to follow.
And something else I just discovered: the more time and attention you give to your child, the more her/his behavior gets better. I know that it's obvious but when you try it and see that it works, you feel so better!

cows, calves & co.

we’re lucky enough to live in a place where children can see a cow or a sheep in real. yesterday i took my girls (and a zoeti’s friend and her mama) to a farm near where i used to live: la greppia’s farm. i know the owners and they’ve been so kind to let us visit the farm, see the milking and feed some young calves!
i discovered few weeks ago that zoeti knows where the milk comes from… i was surprised! she doesn’t know only about the cows but she showed me which part of the cows actually make the milk! she loves cows and we always stop to see calves when we buy milk. most of farms near here have vending machines for milk, open 24/7, and that’s where we stop to see calves and co.

so here we are, all the four of us (plus alma but she slept all. the. time.) at 5pm to see the milking! i have to say that was the first time also for me!

- no more stools and milking by hand, but computer and technology! -

- let’s bring the milk to the newborn calves! (the cutest little helpers i have ever seen!!) -

bye bye cows!!

four simple goals before 2014

one of my favorite blog A beautiful mess posted about this challenge: 4 simple goals for these last two months. as they said these goals has to create healthy, life-enriching habits during the busiest time of the year.
I’m the laziest person in the world in many ways so i want to take the challenge with my four goals:

1. did i mention that I’m lazy?! walking with the girls and my husband give us the chance to talk, have fun, do something together… and exercise! only pros, no cons!
2. I’m one of those person that throw herself headlong in a new project, but loses interest after a while. i have at least three unfinished project and i have to complete them. it’s a weight that i don’t want with me in 2014!
3. it’s easy to find some time to spend alone with alma; i sing to her while i’m changing her diaper or we play while zoeti  is at the kindergarten. but finding some time to spend alone with zoeti seems impossible. she’s a daddy-girl but sometimes she needs her mom too and i really want to create a relatioship between us (before adolescence!). daddy is the one that plays with her and i’m the one that says “one minute please” or “i have to change/breastfeed alma”. it’s not easy for me and definitely not easy for her. So at least once per week i want to spend a couple of hours with her alone… just the two of us!
4. i want to read this book and i already know that meat is something we should try to avoid. but make tasty vegetable for a two years old is not easy! i want to learn more about vegetarian cooking and use more legumes instead of meat.

a car-bag for kids

 credits

Since when I've been to Genova I've looked for tips to keep zoeti busy while I'm driving. Lately I've created our car-bag, a tote bag full of books and simple toys for zoeti, that helps me a lot when she doesn't want to sing or there are no trucks on our way (she loves trucks!)
You know... When you're stuck in traffic with a couple of screaming kids and you just want to die... Sounds familiar?!
Recently I added a items  in my emergency kit: food! Some crackers, a bottle of water, a juice... Believe me: organization is the key with one kid and survival with two!
What do you do to keep your kids entertained while driving?

dear juliet… one day in verona

dear juliet,
my name is barbara. don’t worry… i’m not writing because i have love troubles: my sentimental situation is a bed of roses! i’m so lucky!
i’m writing to you because i just spent a beautiful day in your city, verona, with my kids, a day dedicated to you. we visited your house (and… sorry… touched your breast as tradition wants!)

we ate delicious italian specialities (bruschette), have espressos, took pictures.

we visited also your grave, in a spectacular cloister.
 

>> the first time we saw restorers at work! <<   

we had fun in your city, juliet… and i just wanted to let you know that!
 

>> in the municipal library, trying to find a book about romeo & juliet (but zoeti preferred this one!) <<

love,

barbara